Cheese Type *
-- Select cheese --
Cheddar (Sharp, obviously)
Mozzarella (The stretchy one)
Brie (Fancy, needs extra approval)
Gouda (Dutch courage required)
Parmesan (The sacred grating cheese)
Cream Cheese (Breakfast implications)
String Cheese (Classified as a snack weapon)
Other (Subject to investigation)
Have You Been Caught Eating This Cheese Before?
No prior offenses
Once (warning issued)
Multiple times (repeat offender)
I've lost count honestly
Content Type
TV Series (multi-episode commitment)
Movie (one-time viewing event)
Documentary (educational exemption possible)
Reality TV (no judgment... okay some judgment)
YouTube Binge (the slippery slope)
TikTok Scrolling (the void)
Reason for Adjustment
I'm cold (put on a sweater)
I'm hot (open a window)
Guests are coming (valid-ish)
The pet looks uncomfortable
The temperature vibes are off
Environmental Impact Statement
Blanket(s) In Question
Nature of Redistribution
I need MORE blanket coverage
I want THAT specific blanket
Reclaiming my stolen blanket
Requesting purchase of additional blanket
Full burrito wrap authorization
Acknowledgement of Partner's Blanket Rights
I acknowledge my partner also needs blankets
I reluctantly acknowledge this
No, all blankets are mine by natural law
Food Item
Your Claim Basis
I bought it, therefore it's mine
I saw it first (unverified)
You already had some!
I've been saving it all day
I emotionally need this more
Would You Be Willing to Split?
Absolutely not
60/40 in my favor
Fine, 50/50, but I pick my half first
Yes, fair is fair (suspicious)
Nap Justification
I'm just so tired
It's the weekend (standard defense)
Had a rough week
The cat is on me, I can't move
Just five more minutes (x12)
Are There Responsibilities You're Avoiding?
No, everything is done
...maybe
That depends on your definition
Yes, but they can wait
Snack Type *
-- Select your contraband --
Chips (Loud crunching will give you away)
Cookies (Crumb evidence is admissible in court)
Ice Cream (Freezer surveillance is active)
Pretzels (The salty escape)
Peanut Butter Cups (The crown jewels)
Other (Subject to snack tribunal review)
Is This a Shared Snack Supply?
No, I bought these myself
Technically it's "our" snack stash
Yes, but I need them more
These were from my secret stash
Terms & Conditions of Request Submission
By submitting this request, the Requestor ("Maud") hereby acknowledges and agrees to the following:
1. All cheese in the refrigerator is presumed to belong to the Household Administrator unless explicitly labeled with the Requestor's name, date of purchase, and a sworn affidavit of ownership.
2. "Watching ahead" on any shared television series constitutes a Level 3 Household Violation and may result in spoiler privileges being revoked.
3. The thermostat is set at the optimal temperature. It has always been at the optimal temperature. Questioning the temperature is itself a violation.
4. Blanket redistribution requests filed between the hours of 2 AM and 6 AM will be automatically escalated to the Emergency Blanket Tribunal.
5. The "last bite" of any food item is sacred and shall be governed by the ancient laws of Finders Keepers, modified by the Household Amendment of 2026.
6. Nap extensions beyond 30 minutes require a co-signed Environmental Impact Assessment detailing the effect on household productivity.
7. All requests are subject to arbitrary denial based on the Administrator's mood, hunger level, or current Netflix binge status.
8. Filing a false or exaggerated request may result in additional chore assignments, loss of remote control privileges, or a strongly worded memo.
9. The Department of Household Affairs reserves the right to laugh at your request before processing it.
10. By checking the box below, you waive your right to complain about the processing time, which is estimated at 3-5 business weeks (or whenever I feel like it).